


Just go

by Mickey4005



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, F/F, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rosewaves is really minor, wayhaught brotp, wynaught
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:54:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27185485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mickey4005/pseuds/Mickey4005
Summary: Wynonna started going bad again. And Nicole knew.
Relationships: Rosita Bustillos/Waverly Earp, Wynonna Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	1. It started getting bad again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [All of the Wynaught shippers out there](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=All+of+the+Wynaught+shippers+out+there).



> Beta read by @justalbewe on Twitter

She started going bad again and Nicole knew. Maybe it was the countless nights that she was alone in her cold bed while Wynonna was out drinking, maybe it was the way the bags under the older Earps eyes became too dark for concealer. Nicole also didn’t know why her Wynonna started going bad again. Neither did Wynonna’s younger sister.

“I don’t know what’s with her. I am sorry Nicole. Doesn’t she talk to you?”

“She talks to me about the same amount that she does to you. As of lately we rarely talk when we see each other. She either falls asleep on me or is so drunk that she can barely form a straight sentence” Nicole chuckles, but there is no laughter in it.

Waverly just looks at Nicole with that understanding in her eyes. Like she went through this with Wynonna hundreds of times already. Which is probably true.

“I am sorry Nicole.”

Waverly gets up and grabs the bottle of whiskey she had hid in the cupboard above the fridge and two glasses. Nicole was surprised that Wynonna hadn’t found that bottle, as well, already. The redhead wordlessly takes the glass from Waverly, pours it down her throat in one go and sets the glass back in front of Waverly, who understood and poured another glass before sitting down in her chair again as well.

They spend the hours wordlessly drinking while waiting for Wynonna to finally show up at the homestead or getting a call that she got into a fight and had to be picked up at the police station. Well, it wouldn’t be the first time that happened. 

The sun was rising again already when Wynonna finally showed up when she almost fell right on her face when she opened the door to the homestead.

“WoAH. Since when is oua door so light Babygirl? Woah, Haughtstuff what arya doin here?”

“I wanted to see you, but as it seems you had better things to do…”

Wynonna drunkenly looks at her as if she were trying to figure out why there are two Nicoles in her kitchen.

“Imma go to sleep. Good night guys.”

The moment Wynonna turns around to go to her bed, she almost would’ve fallen over if it wasn’t for Nicole catching her and helping her to the bed.

“I’m gonna go to sleep too and leave you two alone… Love you ‘Nonna”

With that the younger Earp went upstairs. 

The taller woman sat Wynonna on her bed and started to help her get out of her clothes while making sure she didn’t fall over. 

“Why do you keep doing this Wynonna?”

“Doin whad?”

“Drinking until you can’t even sit up straight anymore. Every night.”

“I dun know. Maybe cuz I like the taste of whiskey?”

Tears started forming in Nicole’s eyes and she felt that familiar burn you get right before you cry, in her throat. 

“Wynonna…”

Wynonna looked up at the woman standing in front of her, her eyes almost falling shut not able to focus on Nicole correctly.

“I’m tired.”

With that the drunk form in front of Nicole laid down and pulled the blanket over herself.

Nicole got changed now as well and laid down next to her and stared at the ceiling. The moment she heard a soft snoring coming from the brunette, she couldn’t hold it back anymore. The tears just started rolling and didn’t stop. She felt so useless not being able to help the woman she was so in love with, to just have to sit there and watch her baby destroy herself. There was a pain in her she never felt before. It almost felt like her entire body was burning. Almost burning with rage. Rage at herself, at the world that drove Wynonna to this point. She kept crying till she fell asleep as well. 

****

Wynonna woke up with a headache that would bring Zeus to his knees and didn’t remember how she got home or undressed. When she turned over Nicole was laying there with the back to her. After sitting up to go to the bathroom, she saw the whiskey standing on the kitchen table.

“Nothing helps better against a hangover than a shot in the morning.”

The brunette took a big chug straight from the bottle and took it with her to the bathroom. 

While Wynonna was trying to wash the reeking smell of whiskey and cigarettes off of her Nicole slowly opened her eyes and looked for the Earp she fell asleep next to she also noticed, that the whiskey bottle that was not standing on the table anymore in the kitchen.

“God damnit!”

The redhead looked at the clock. It was 1.23 pm and Wynonna had already started to drink. Again. Nicole really didn’t know what to do anymore. The pain from the night before just got worse. Her skin is burning her heart feels like it’s being ripped apart and like the one thing she loves more than anything was being ripped from her. Just like a band-aid you pull off painfully slow. 

Wynonna looked at herself in the dirty bathroom mirror. She had a towel wrapped around her chest. She looked sick, the bags under her eyes were huge, her hair didn’t shine like it used to anymore and her eyes looked empty. Almost like the soul had left her body and the only thing left was a walking shell. She herself also didn’t know why she was doing what she was doing. The Earp took a sip from the whiskey again and felt the familiar burn going through her body. It was the only thing she wanted to feel, the only thing she could bare to feel. After losing Dolls, because he was sacrificing himself protecting her and the others the memories from the night her father died came up again. When Wynonna looks up at the mirror again, she sees the girl she used to be, yelling “DADDY!” in utter terror looking back at her. The way she looked after the bullet from peacemaker put a whole in her father’s head. 

Nicole basically jumped out of bed after she heard a gut-wrenching scream from the bathroom. 

“Wynonna!”

The door to the bathroom was locked.

“WYNONNA!”

“I- I’m fine”

“Could you still unlock the door? I just want to make sure.”

The door opens and an utterly terrified Wynonna comes out, holding the bottle of whiskey in her hand, shaking.

“What happened?”

“Nothing. I- I already told you I’m fine.”

Was Wynonna tried to take another sip of whiskey Nicole took the bottle from her hand.

“HEY! That is my whiskey!”

“WYNONNA for gods sake! You came home in the morning completely wrecked and it is not even 2pm yet and you are drinking again!”

“And I am clearly not drunk enough again.”

With those words the brunette took the bottle of whiskey back and pushed Nicole out of the way to grab her coat and leave the homestead.

“Where are you going?”

“Somewhere, where nobody takes my alcohol from me, I guess.”

Wynonna puts on her coat, takes peacemaker with her, leaves through the front door and slams it shut behind her.


	2. She loves her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is basically just a chapter to understand Nicole's feelings for Wynonna a bit better.

Wynonna tumbles along the street, everything is spinning and turning, the bottle of whiskey she took with her from the homestead is empty now. She sees Shortys in the distance. That is her destination. Getting drunk and not feeling anything. When the Earp heir walks through the door to Shortys, nobody paid attention to her. They all hated her but in Shortys nobody cared. As she walks up to the bar, the barkeeper, Rosita, her sister’s girlfriend, came up to her.

“Whiskey?”

“Yeah.”

“Do Waverly or Nicole know that you are here?”

“I don’t know. I am pretty sure they figured where I went.”

“Okay.”

Rosita brought Wynonna her Whiskey and decided to call Waverly just to let her know where her sister is.

“Waverly, your sister is here at Shorty’s. I just wanted you to know.”

“Thank you, babe. Please keep an eye on here and call me when she really gets too drunk.”

After hanging up Waverly went downstairs to Nicole who was leaning at the kitchen table.

“Rosita just called. Wynonna is at Shorty’s; she’ll also call when Wynonna gets too drunk.”

“Mhm. Thanks.”

Nicole wiped the tear that rolled down her cheek.

“Nicole I am so sorry that you have to go through that with Wynonna. She is usually not like that and you know it. I don’t what triggered that behavior this time, but she will get better.”

“I don’t know if I can make it till then tho. I barely have any energy left to support her and fight with her.”

The younger Earp goes up to the now sobbing Nicole and hugs her. The redhead held on to the younger Earp like she was the rock she needed right now. Nicole wouldn’t know what to do without her best friend. 

***

“Rosida? ROSIDA!? Another Whisky thangs.”

“Wynonna, I think you had enough by now. It is 1am. You should go home and get some sleep. I am pretty sure Nicole and Waverly are worried by now.”

“Right Nicole. She is for sure gon’ be worried. I love her. I should never forget that.”

“Are you going home now ‘nonny? Can you go or should they come pick you up?”

“No I can-“

And with that Wynonna fell od the bar stool.

“SHIT!”

“I’m calling Waverly she should come pick you up.”

“Thangs.”

Rosita gets the phone out of her pocket and calls Waverly.

“Mhm, Thanks, I am on my way.”

Nicole was so tired from worrying and crying so she took a nap in Wynonna’s bed. Although Wynonna wasn’t there, the bed still smelled like her and provided a bit of comfort.

“Nicole?”

Waverly tried to wake Nicole up as softly as possible.

“Mh?”

“I am going to pick Wynonna up at Shorty’s. Rosita just called.”

“Mhm… Thanks”

***

When Waverly opened the door to Shorty’s Wynonna was sleeping on a bar stool, her head laying on the top of the bar. It always devastated her when she saw her big sister like that, but it was nothing too unusual anymore. She was getting used to it by now. The younger Earp walked up to her sister and carefully tried to wake her up.

“’Nonna? Come on get up. We are going home.”

“Mhm?”

“’Nonna come on you have to get into your bed.”

“Okay.”

When Wynonna tries to stand up, she basically falls onto her sister full force who, with some angelic power, was able to steady her so they won’t fall over together and Wynonna let out a yelp because she got a bit scared of hurting her baby sister.

Because Shorty’s was so full that night Rosita didn’t see her girlfriend until she heard Wynonna’s yelp from the other end of the bar.

“Hey babe. I tried my best to contain her drinking, but you know your sister.”

“Yeah Rosie. I know her. Thank you so much for taking care of her, or at least trying to, and for calling me to come pick her up.”

They gave each other a quick peck in the lips.

“See you when you come home after work Rosie.”

“Looking forward to it.”

Rosita winked at Waverly, who then got a big smile on her face.

The two Earps made their way out to Waverly’s car now and after sitting down Wynonna and putting her older sisters Seat Belt on, Waverly walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat. 

“Why are you doing this to yourself and to Nicole Wynonna?”

“I dun’t know. I luv her, I trully do, but the flashbash- flashbacks are jus too mush for me. I see everything again. From that night and everything that came after that.”

Waverly starts her Jeep and drives off towards the homestead.

“Yes Wynonna I get that. But-“

“No Waverly you don’t. You were way too young when all of that happened and YOU weren’t the one to shoot daddy. That was me.”

Wynonna realized that she just yelled at her own sister whish is the one thing she would end EVERYONE’S life for if they did that. 

“Waves, I- I am so sorry.”

Waverly’s eyes started to tear up because she knows that she will never understand the pain Wynonna is in and all Wynonna has been through, but she gets those flashbacks too. She also has to relive the night revenants broke into the homestead and Wynonna had to shoot their father. And she also has to live with the pain and knowledge that what she did when she was a child was the reason the revenants even got into her home.

“No ‘Nonna it’s okay. I know that I will never understand the Pain you have been through.”

The rest of the drive the car was completely silent. When Waverly rolled into the Homestead’s land Wynonna unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. Or at least tried to. She fell flat on her face into the snow.

“God fucking damnit!”

Waverly ran around the car to help her sister who pushed her away.

“No! I got it.”

Somehow, even Waverly doesn’t know how, Wynonna managed to get herself up again and tumbled through the door into the homestead.

Inside the homestead Nicole was waiting for Wynonna, sitting on her bed. The moment the drunk girl opened the door Nicole was up on her feet hugging her girl.

“Wynonna I am so sorry for cornering you earlier. I- I just want you to be okay. For me it’s always you. Always.”

“Hmm”

When they parted Nicole helped Wynonna change again and laid her down into bed, put a blanket over her and looked at Waverly, who was holding a bottle of whiskey and two glasses in her hands and gestured for her to go upstairs with her. Nicole kissed Wynonna on the forehead, turned of the light and walked up the narrow stairs in the homestead with Waverly. 

Nicole was hurting she really was. She didn’t know what to do with her girl anymore. It didn’t make sense to her why everything was suddenly going so drastically bad again after everything was going well for them. 

“Waverly honest question.”  
“Hit me.”

Waverly was pouring a glass for each of them as they sat down in front of her bed.

“How often does that happen? I really don’t think I could power through one of those again.”

Nicole rubbed her eyes.

“I really don’t know. This now is the first time this happened after she came back. And before that… I don’t know maybe once a year or every one-and-a-half years?”

Nicole only looked down at her whiskey and felt that familiar burn in her throat again and her lip started to tremble. She wordlessly took a sip from the whiskey in an attempt to drown one burn with another. 

“Nicole I am sorry.”

“No, it’s fine Waverly. I know you can’t do anything about it. And beside that you are suffering with me.”

“Yes, but I don’t want to even think about Rosie going through that. Especially since she is probably as stubborn as Wynonna.”

Nicole also couldn’t wrap her head around what is causing all of that. She knows some things about Wynonna’s childhood and growing up, but Wynonna doesn’t like to talk about it. She always said it was better for Nicole if she doesn’t know about it. And after what happened in the last time Nicole, for the first time, starts to think Wynonna might be right. She loves her girl, she truly, truly does, but she really doesn’t know if she can deal with Wynonna any longer. 

“Mhm….”

Nicole downs her whiskey and immediately pours herself another glass.

“I-“

And with that everything breaks lose within Nicole. All her pain and fear because she has to look at the woman she loves destroy herself. All the trauma she carries with her. She just wants her Wynonna back. Not that empty shell that was roaming Purgatory.

Waverly took Nicole’s hand wordlessly and tried to ground her while the redhead was crying next to her.


End file.
